Saturday, July 30, 2005

Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest Winner

For the last 23 years, San Jose State University in California holds a contest by the title name, paying homage to Edward George Earl Bulwer-Lytton, who wrote the immortal "It was a dark and stormy night," opening sentence.

This year, the winner is Dan McKay. I won't post his opening sentence here, but you can read it if you click here, which has a link to the Yahoo! post.

In keeping with the topic, I encourage everyone to post their own bad opening sentences here, and I will do the same directly.


Weary Hag said...

Yikes. I'm game. How about "If I were an entirely different person, I'd might actually like politics."

Hope the move went smoothly!

Michelle said...

The defence attorney said" Afford me? Nooooooo, think of it as my gift to you."
Trying to keep a straight face here..LOL!

Steve said...

Here goes:

“How do I get past that,” a paraplegic Stuart thought to himself, eyeing the 300 pound call girl who succumbed to a heart attack following a vigorous body massage, lying beside him on the outside of the bed, between himself and the wheelchair he’d need to escape the room, all the while thanking the Powers That Be that he hadn’t paid her yet.

English Professor said...

"This is the last time," thought Alice, "that I fall for that old frat-boy routine of 'Show us your shimmering stomach shimmy, Alice, and we'll put in a good word for you over at Tri Delts.'"