Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Keep the non-religion out of schools!

I was watching the religion network yesterday (I was flipping channels and stopped brielfy) when I heard this minister speaking about atheism. He said that two Court cases in 1977 (Thuriot v. Silver and Mal v. Yogi) established atheism as a religion. He then queried "how can it be a religion if it doesn't believe in God?" Apparently, this pastor doesn't consider Buddhism or Confucianism to be religions, either, unless Buddha and Confucius were both Gods, but I'm pretty sure they were men.

He then went on this really neat soliloquy, where he stated that Atheism is the religious practice of practicing non-religion. He used this statement, as confusing as it is, show how the Christian religion has been oppressed in America:

Therefore the religion of atheism is religion of practicing NO Religious practice. It is religiously practicing NON religion. Furthermore, people now may give contribution to Satanig Groups and get the same tax deductions as people who give contributions to christian churches. But, consider when we do hear of separation of church and state? Have you seen anyone go into a school on Halloween and say: Wait, get those witches down off the wall? Separation of church and state, I demand separation? Witchcraft is a legal organized religion. Or have you seen anyone go into public schools and say: Now wait, I don't see any prayer here. I don't see any bible reading here. There's no religious practice here. That means its a religion of atheism. I demand separation of church and state. Get the religion of Atheism out. No, we don't hear that. When do we hear of separation of church and state? Anytime there's an attempt to involve Christian principles. Separation of church and state is the BIG CLUB hold out to beat back the Christians.
He then talks about how the three percent (I'm guessing he means all the non-Christians in America) are taking away the rights of Christians and how we as a nation have lost focus on the Founders' intents.

I'm with him 100%. Those godless people who don't believe like we do need to be shut up. We've got the numbers; we have the right President. We even have the religious Congress, thanks to that Republican majority. Let's get them to hold back the Non-Christian mafia that's been holding all of us hostage! But wait. I practice one Protestant branch of Christianity; my best friend another. He's clearly wrong, because he doesn't believe like I do (he has WINE for communion, and strong drinks will rob your strength as surely as it would have Samson). So, we'll have to get rid of the Christians who believe differently than us, too. And Catholics have to go. They believe that anyone who isn't a member of the Catholic church is a sinner and condemned to hell, but we KNOW that's not true, because Jesus said "whosoever believes in me shall not perish." Anyone who would lie and blaspheme in the Name of God must be doing anti-American work. They're gone. And the Orthodox. They're Russian. You know who else was Russian? THE COMMUNISTS!!! Karl Marx was merely trying reverse psychology when he wrote of the opiate of the masses. After all, he was old, and we all know that the youth will do the opposite of what the old folks say. He also worked for the NY Times, so you know he's not worth much, anyway.

You know what? Maybe these people who don't believe the way I do should be able to receive an education free from my religious slant... Perhaps it is OK for them to not be Christian. Perhaps not having religion in school ISN'T practicing atheism, after all, they aren't practicing non-religion, they're just not practicing religion...

BTW, I did a Lexis search for the cases I mentioned above and didn't find anything... If anyone else can verify that they're actual cases, let me know. Until I hear otherwise, I won't believe that they are actual precedent.


Bruce said...

Ha! Excellent.

Personally, I'm skeptical of any religious proselytizing that is mass-market, mass-media, and commercialized; instead of being based on personal and intimate connections between people.

red.hot.mamma! said...

i'm really confused here. i've often said i'm agnostic - i just don't know. so does that mean when i say i don't know, i'm practicing religion? so anytime anyone questions anything, that's a religion of sorts? so, does that mean that education is by its very nature a sort of religion?

whoa! mind f---! pass the pipe, man.

English Professor said...

Heh heh. Very amusing. But I am concerned about your safety--does Pat Robertson know of your comments?

Michelle said...

LOL, very witty!