A serious problem

There is an affliction in this world, and I think few people are aware it even exists. It can strike anywhere, seemingly anytime. Nobody knows what causes it, and nobody knows of a cure. Yet it's prevalent in the country. I'm referring to: John Elway Face.

There are currently at least two women in my school suffering from JEF. My Aunt was afflicted. Hayley Joel Osment has come down with it. It attacks without warning, often taking the victim completely by surprise.

If you look carefully, you're certain to find several individuals who sport JEF. It's far more prevalent than you think!

There is no cure for JEF yet, nor is there any evidence that it actually causes any injury. But you could be part of the solution. Talk to your friends, seek counseling, go to more baseball games. Lessen the risk that you'll someday fall victim to JEF yourself.