Worst Song survey

If you read the post directly below this, you'll find my plan for interrogation, which includes the repeat playing of MacArthur Park ad infinitum. This reminded me of a Dave Barry book I have called "Dave Barry's book of bad songs."
Basically, he took a survey of songs that people couldn't stand. They included Yummy Yummy Yummy, Wichita Lineman, and quite a few more. This leads me to my query for all of you. What are the worst songs you can think of?

Now, there are a few rules to the game. First, rap is out. I know there are some rap songs that have hit a popular vein, but for the most part, they are all indistinguishable from each other. Second, the songs must be at least five years old. Dave Barry used that as his gauge because that was the amount of time it took for a song to be truly loathed.

Now, my top five includes, of course, MacArthur Park, no explanation is necessary. It also would include:
He Hit Me (And it Felt Like a Kiss) - Could you imagine a song like this hitting the charts in this century?
Muskrat Love - The Captain and Tenille at their finest,
Red Red Wine (by UB40) - I can't think of anything more hideous than taking a Neil Diamond song, turning it into reggae as performed by a British band, and then having an unattractive woman in the video, and
I Saw Him Standing There, by Tiffany - This is one of the worst remakes ever made in the history of music. Whoever convinced her it was a hit should be struck repeatedly with paddleball paddles.

The floor is open.