Monday, January 19, 2009

Lord, CSI Miami is annoying

I'm not even sure where to begin with this episode.

When did the CSI officers start referring to themselves as "CSI Duquesne" or whoever?

The episode starts at a horse race. The guy that gets killed is a horse owner. CSI is on the scene, and El Poseur (EP) is standing over the cadaver. There's the entry wound, but El Poseur notes there's no exit wound, which requires someone to state the obvious - the bullet is still in there. Thank goodness we have such astute people working to solve crimes!

Then the Jaw and the Smirker are in the room, gathering more evidence, the Smirker unnecessarily in a 3-piece suit. A little banter, and then they discover some truffles that the Smirker knows don't come in the luxury box gifts - they aren't from Miami... They are from Chicago, and the guy who owns the company happens to have a horse, as well.

A bunch of annoying crap happens, and they tell horse guy to stick around. While at the scene (where they questioned truffle boy), some short guy gets caught pulling used tickets from the trash - apparently, this equals messing with a crime scene in Miami - who knew? They shuffle the guy off; I didn't see if they got his name or not.

In the meantime, side story with Torgo helping a friend of his beat up some Russian mob guy - this happens to be the time that EP is bringing home some boy who happened to have CSI Torgo's card in his backpack - the boy's dad didn't pick him up after school, so he went to the track. EP draws on Russian mob guy, who proceeds to cut his throat with some broken glass.

In the meantime, Smirker and Jaw are talking to Cadaver's horse trainer, and while the Smirker is flirting, the Jaw is searching around, and just happens to find a bolt gun (which is what killed Cadaver, as opposed to a gun). So they bring trainer in.

While checking the towels for trace, Jaw notices some synthetic dirt, which had some stupid name. He didn't know what it was, but fortunately, a british lab tech happened to stop by to see what what going on. In a great break of luck, british guy knew what kind of soil this was, and knew that it didn't happen to be in Miami, and on top of that, he knew all six of the tracks in the US that had this crap! Wow. One of them happens to be in Chicago, home of Truffle Boy.

I really don't care about the Russian mob side story, but it seems to segue into something later on. I still won't care about it, though.

Truffle Boy happens to own a bolt gun, but is surprised when he sees it missing. In the compartment where it's kept, though, EP picks up a ticket with a winner on it. There's no trace on it, though, as Doe-eyed cop discovers, but there is a circle, which happens to match the circle made by the grabber thing that ticket puller guy was using. Using that as the entire pretext, they pull ticket guy in, take his hands, check for gunshot residue, find it, and get a confession from him. Seriously - the guy couldn't have gotten that from anywhere else? It wouldn't have washed/worn off while he was doing so much other stuff? And he confesses? Anyway, his excuse is that Cadaver duped him into believing the horse he sold cadaver was worthless. The guy was a jockey who put his life savings into this horse, knew it had "perfect" balance, gait, etc., yet was duped?! Come on, now...

Stupid show.


Gramma said...

Thanks to you, I look at this program with new eyes. Caruso's little tricks with the sunglasses are designed to keep the camera focused on him. His goal is to upstage the ensemble cast. And isn't he a fine actor?

gandypro said...

Incidentally, thanks for the link to my blog The Moderate Voice. I just added you to the TMV blogroll under Center Voices (but you can pick another category). And then I saw this post:
I loved Caruson in NYPD Blue the first season. It's very sad now because he is a parody of what he was an an actor. The sunglasses...the way he walks out of the frame and they go to commercial or titles...always whispering, often not looking at other actors. It's not acting that doesn't look as if it's acting anymore. It's posting. Compare that with the other acting on the other CSIs. But he is a huge hit because the show is really a good show. I don't see him leaving that show and being hailed as a great actor in another role, unless he gets a truly fantastic role in a movie.

Steve said...

Thanks, Gandy. I've been a fan of the Moderate Voice for several years now; it's an honor to be included on the blogroll. Center works for me, but if you come by and see me leaning decisively to either direction, feel free to move me about.

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